|
||||
| Mrs. Cudal's: The Eagle's Wings |
|
For the past months, the Filipino community has suffered great loss with the passing on of some of its prominent members, such as: Perla Maynigo Torres, Lucy Gonzales, Rosie de Leon, Ben Guarin, Greg Alabado, Virginia Gomez, Rey Ravelo, and lately, Dr. Riz A. Oades. We the living, can comfort ourselves by remembering the many good deeds they have left behind, say a prayer and move on with our lives. But sometimes grief becomes a strong emotion and you can’t deal with it on your own. You have to reach out to others for comfort and strength. There are bereavement support groups organized by some churches, but there is one group that I am familiar with, the Eagle’s Wings Bereavement Support Group, a program of the Veterans Museum and Memorial Center. As a Board member of VMMC, the only woman among heroes, I have access to its resource materials, particularly the CareNotes which says, “Take one and take heart. Give one and give hope.” I have with me at the moment two pamphlets entitled, Getting Through the First Weeks After the Funeral and Six Sources of Strength After the Death of A Spouse. The first one was written by Father Herbert Weber, pastor of St. Peter’s Parish in Mansfield, Ohio and the second one was written by Jane Genzel, a director of Habitat for Humanity. Father Weber writes, “The early weeks and months after the funeral of a loved one are a time for both grieving and rebuilding. As you work through the obligations and the grief, and slowly give yourself permission to move ahead, you will notice that your loved one lives on in your memory, but even more importantly, in the spirit within you. And as you enter this new cycle of your life, you will realize that your willingness to recover and rebuild reflects the very best of what your loved one has given you.” On the other hand, Jane Genzel, shares her experience, thus: When your spouse dies, you wonder how you will go on living. The pain created by their absence is gut-wrenching. You long for one more conversation, one more chance to discuss how to handle each daily problem. Of course, that isn’t possible. But the good news is, there is hope and things can get better. Some of the lessons learned by Genzel are: (1) Learn to face the challenges. The presence and thoughtfulness of friends and family, people who loved and cared for their deceased spouse, countered the feeling of loss. (2) Expect the unexpected. A loved one’s death is an opportunity to learn to accept change, to learn whatever God gives you, and to learn to accept situations that you have no control. (3) Find unexpected sources of strength. People are generous and kind. A loved one’s death give friends, relatives and acquaintances the opportunity to show that they also loved and cared for his family. (4) Live with painful emotions. No matter how well you learn to cope, there are some things that just hurt. Be grateful for the many good things your loved one has done and for the fun times you had with him. (5) Let faith ease the pain. If you couldn’t handle your pain, know that God cares for you, that God will sustain you. Find comfort in the Scriptures, in the music and hear God’s word and gain insight into your difficult situation. (6) You never forget, but you do move on. People leave us gifts as they pass through our lives. Appreciate those gifts and enjoy them. When you love someone they become part of you, they are always with you even after they die. Death brings incredible pain into our lives, but in the long run it also leads to new joy. Sometimes the pain is so intense, but with time, prayer, courage and caring people in your life, you will find that you can look beyond the loss and see the light. |